Letting Go of Something Good

I didn't realize how much I missed blogging until thoughts starting swirling around inside my head, begging and fighting like mad to get out. This will be another rambling post, and it may not make much sense, but those who need to hear the message, will get it. Those who don't, that just means this particular post wasn't meant for you...and that's okay. 

Life is Weird. 

I often find myself sitting back and reflecting on life and how weird it can be. Growing up we were raised by people with varying beliefs, only to become an adult and pick through those beliefs like dead animal bones to create our own beliefs. Then you have society butting it's dumb head in with its views and if you're anything like me, you're left confused and sitting in the corner with your arms folded across your body, protecting it from some form of horror that may or may not exist. 

One factor that really trips me up is the people who come into your life. I grew up going to church and then not. My parents are believers but those beliefs changed so often that some days I didn't know what was real and what was not. Maybe they felt that way too. One church I attended as an adult spoke on the message of how when we die, we don't get to heaven and immediatly connect with those who passed before us. "It doesn't work like that," he said. I haven't been back to church since (minus that time we had to go for Christmas Eve service which I likely will sit out next time). I'm sorry, but I don't need that negativity in my life. If that were true, then what's the point of family, friends, or loved ones? I refuse to believe that when we die those we are blessed to know here on Earth, mean nothing. 

Then there are the negative people who enter our lives masked as friends at first. What's that about? See, life is weird. I wrote that sentence as if I'm not also a negative person in someone's life, but I know that's not true. I'm just as bad for some people as those who are bad for me. But, why does this happen? More so, why does it happen to those like me who are empaths and still care about those people even if they no longer exist in their lives? 

I've met people who mean the world to me, and even today, I care about what happens to them, for example; I read reviews of a fellow author who doesn't care for me all that much, and I wanted to yell at the reviewers...she didn't deserve the negativity they were spewing. Or, maybe it's the person who stepped into your life when you were hurting, dying inside even, and gave you a part of yourself back, but the timing and circumstances were all wrong for the friendship to continue without both being hurt. Or maybe someone who you had some of the most fun with, who made you feel like you were in your 20s, then one day they disappear as if those years meant nothing. 

I know it's not sane to mourn those who no longer walk beside you. Grieving someone who is still alive is one of the most real yet painful circumstances to find yourself in. 

Life is Weird. 

Sometimes letting go of something good is the right move to make, but if you think I'm going to be happy about it...you'll be disappointed. I don't know why things happen, or people come only to walk out of my life but, maybe the weird thing about life isn't that it's weird, but that feeling all of these things is meant to help us grow. 

I still don't know the point of life...but I'm going to cherish the good with the bad, the joy with the sadness, and let grief do whatever it needs to without dragging me down into a pit of darkness that I can't crawl out of. 

Ugh, Life is Weird.